- pickup line: i told my therapist about you
11 hours ago | 60,645 notesbecause of tumblr I’m pretty sure cats are the center of the universe and everything is just because cats
11 hours ago | 230,370 notesh4te:
i want to go on a shopping trip where i am the only one in the shopping mall and everything i want is free
a robbery. what you just described is a robbery.
11 hours ago | 18,887 notesone time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me.
and it is Akon. So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon”
he said you too and floated on.
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